10 signs of a narcissistic parent.
Here are some pointers to help you identify a narcissistic parent. although many parents might exhibit these symptoms at certain times which is human and normal, the narcissistic parent will exhibit These symptoms on an ongoing basis and also with no regard for the damage being inflicted on the child's long-term well-being due to these behaviors.
1. Neglect:
The parent is totally hands off when it comes to the raising and caring for, of the child. this parent may provide financially, but most of the communication with, nurturing, and daily child raising is left to the other parent.
I saw this in my own life as my father was around but always a distant figure in the background. seldom saying much to us other than angrily telling us to cut whatever it out or occationally showing off his brilliance with discussions on history or politics. He got away with this distance from his kids as my mother, the enabler constantly told us how much our father told her that he loved us, and she would also tell us about caring things he said about us even though I never heard them coming from him myself.
2. infantilization:
This is where the parent treats the child like they are younger than they actually are in order to keep the child dependent upon the parent. the parent will not teach the child life skills, but will instead take the skills over for the child so the child never learns to do them for themselves. This makes the child feel like they are totally reliant upon the parent. The narcissistic parent enjoys the power and control (narcissistic supply) they have over this child because of the childs vulnerablity. this also allows the parent to look like they are such a wonderful parent (narcissistic supply) and also derive pity (narcissistic supply) from other people because of their loser adult child they constantly have to care for.
3. lack of empathy:
The parent acts in a very thick skin manner, with no regard for how their actions and behaviors affect the child. when the child protests, The parent tells them that they are being too sensitive, why can't they take a joke, or can't they lighten up. this is very damaging as it stops the child from believing what they truly feel. often these children will start to take all there cues from the outside world instead of their authentic self, subconsciously believing that their own authentic feelings are wrong. This is a recipe for disaster for the rest of this child's life.
4. Jealousy and possessiveness:
and possessiveness of the child. causing problems in the adult child's romantic relationships. not wanting the child to go away to college because of personal reasons even though it is in the child's long-term best interests.
5. More concerned about details than the important stuff:
this is the parent that will absolutely freak out about some small insignificant detail, and yet will ignore the thousand pound elephant sitting in the room. such as freaking out because the teenager will not wear a jacket or a sweater and yet being totally unconcerned about where the teenager is actually going or with who.
6. conditional love, withholding of love and support:
The child is only loved and treated well if they are performing at a certain level and doing what the parent wants them to do. Love and financial support our withheld if the child does, what does not align with what the parent wants of them. for example The parent will only pay for college if the child follows the career the parent wants them to.
7. living vicariously through their children.
some narcissistic parents push their children to chief certain things no matter whether the child wants to achieve that or not because the parent wants to live vicariously through the child's success. in other words look what the fruit of my loins has produced. The child feels pressured to do what the parent demands of them, as this is the only way they get the love and support of this parent, and otherwise their lives are made very difficult for them by this parent. Sometimes the child gets to such a state that they no longer know what they personally want anymore.
8. sabotage:
9. using children as tools.
10. manipulating the child's beliefs:
Here are some pointers to help you identify a narcissistic parent. although many parents might exhibit these symptoms at certain times which is human and normal, the narcissistic parent will exhibit These symptoms on an ongoing basis and also with no regard for the damage being inflicted on the child's long-term well-being due to these behaviors.
1. Neglect:
The parent is totally hands off when it comes to the raising and caring for, of the child. this parent may provide financially, but most of the communication with, nurturing, and daily child raising is left to the other parent.
I saw this in my own life as my father was around but always a distant figure in the background. seldom saying much to us other than angrily telling us to cut whatever it out or occationally showing off his brilliance with discussions on history or politics. He got away with this distance from his kids as my mother, the enabler constantly told us how much our father told her that he loved us, and she would also tell us about caring things he said about us even though I never heard them coming from him myself.
2. infantilization:
This is where the parent treats the child like they are younger than they actually are in order to keep the child dependent upon the parent. the parent will not teach the child life skills, but will instead take the skills over for the child so the child never learns to do them for themselves. This makes the child feel like they are totally reliant upon the parent. The narcissistic parent enjoys the power and control (narcissistic supply) they have over this child because of the childs vulnerablity. this also allows the parent to look like they are such a wonderful parent (narcissistic supply) and also derive pity (narcissistic supply) from other people because of their loser adult child they constantly have to care for.
3. lack of empathy:
The parent acts in a very thick skin manner, with no regard for how their actions and behaviors affect the child. when the child protests, The parent tells them that they are being too sensitive, why can't they take a joke, or can't they lighten up. this is very damaging as it stops the child from believing what they truly feel. often these children will start to take all there cues from the outside world instead of their authentic self, subconsciously believing that their own authentic feelings are wrong. This is a recipe for disaster for the rest of this child's life.
4. Jealousy and possessiveness:
and possessiveness of the child. causing problems in the adult child's romantic relationships. not wanting the child to go away to college because of personal reasons even though it is in the child's long-term best interests.
5. More concerned about details than the important stuff:
this is the parent that will absolutely freak out about some small insignificant detail, and yet will ignore the thousand pound elephant sitting in the room. such as freaking out because the teenager will not wear a jacket or a sweater and yet being totally unconcerned about where the teenager is actually going or with who.
6. conditional love, withholding of love and support:
The child is only loved and treated well if they are performing at a certain level and doing what the parent wants them to do. Love and financial support our withheld if the child does, what does not align with what the parent wants of them. for example The parent will only pay for college if the child follows the career the parent wants them to.
7. living vicariously through their children.
some narcissistic parents push their children to chief certain things no matter whether the child wants to achieve that or not because the parent wants to live vicariously through the child's success. in other words look what the fruit of my loins has produced. The child feels pressured to do what the parent demands of them, as this is the only way they get the love and support of this parent, and otherwise their lives are made very difficult for them by this parent. Sometimes the child gets to such a state that they no longer know what they personally want anymore.
8. sabotage:
9. using children as tools.
10. manipulating the child's beliefs:
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